


To Be Seen

by LeoOtherLands



Series: All the Broken Pieces [11]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, I wrote something sweet, M/M, Smut, Trans Umino Iruka
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-30
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2020-11-08 08:38:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20832554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeoOtherLands/pseuds/LeoOtherLands
Summary: "It’s what I really want. To be seen as myself.”





	To Be Seen

I grunted a comfortable, not quite awake sound. More like a grumble at the fact of morning and dusky sunlight, than actual complaint. It was Thursday, but there was no reason to get up, no school, my body was in that weighted, languid state between sleep and full waking, and Iruka was curled in my arms, his back to my chest. Flush with me all the way down, and oh so warm.

Inhaling a long, stuttering breath, I huffed out a content sigh that stirred Iruka’s loose hair, which in turn, tickled my nose, prompting a smile on my lips. My eyes opened to slits, just enough to take in my everything.

The furnished basement, serving as my bedroom, was painted in mellow, shadow-light drifting down from the deep windows just above ground level. Dark lingered in corners and angles, making furniture and the odd twist of living area, bathroom, and storage area stand out stark and appear to have unnatural depth. A clunk and hum signaled the heater churning on, to combat the fall chill outside. It was warm. The smell of coffee, baking, and turkey wafted down the stairs, along with the chatter of the Macy’s parade on TV, turning my smile to a goofy grin and conjuring images of silver hair, like mine, tattoos, and that stupid apron in my mind.

Everything was just how it should be, and I burrowed further into the blanket I’d pulled over Iruka and I before we’d passed out the night before. Passed out fully clothed, I thought with a smirk, even if we had done a good deal of petting, until we’d dissolved into cuddling and sleep. The memory of Iruka in my lap, lip between his teeth, a serious expression on his face, and his legs wrapped around my waist made my morning hard on a little harder, but I tramped that down in favor of nuzzling my nose into his hair and taking in all the golden goodness of him that was all mine.

Time for sex some other day, when we were both more wide awake. The moment was for holding him and the simple happiness of him in my embrace before he went off home to his own family.

Murmuring unintelligibly, I shut my eyes and fumbled a kiss to his ear. Maybe better if I hadn’t. Iruka groaned and shifted in my arms, the first signs of waking.

Growling annoyance, I tightened my arms around him. “Sleep,” I rumbled, my voice all husky with morning and waking. “Too early to go.”

He settled, but the set of his body was all wrong, bringing me to consciousness, even if I was still blurry. “Wa’s up, Ru?”

No response in words. He lay there for a beat, then twisted in my arms, to face me. His features were crumbled, and his eyes were wet, tears crawling in sluggish runnels down his cheeks, startling me.

“Jesus, Iruka,” I said, thumbs going to wipe the tears away. “What’s the matter?” It wasn’t as though this was the first time we’d woke up in my bed together. It was practically a weekly occurrence.

“I don’t want to go home.”

Some jittery thing in me, a thing afraid I’d done something wrong, relaxed. My thumbs started massaging circles in his cheeks. “Then stay. Dad’s pretty chill, you know he won’t care.”

That was an understatement. My old man would just shrug and pull out another plate and cup. The man whose army buddies still sometimes called the White Fang, wasn’t the same when he came back from war as when he went off to it. His mentality seemed to be, is someone getting killed? No? Then it was fine. Or, it could be with some work.

My coming out had been one of the easiest conversations of my life. I’d leaned in through the archway of the living room, some silver hair flopping over the arm of the couch and a cold glass of organic green tea on the coffee table the only signs he was in the room.

“Hey, dad, I’m gay!”

A thumbs up over the back of the couch. “Just bring your boyfriend home and introduce him before you start fuckin’ him.”

Actually bringing Iruka home had been just as easy. I’d poked my head around the door to the kitchen, Iruka biting his lip and shuffling from foot to foot beside me, with his hand in mine. “Hey, dad, this is my boyfriend.”

Sakumo’d brushed floor-dusted hands over his middle, nodding, and glancing over Iruka. “You like pizza?”

“Y-yes,” Iruka had squeaked.

“Good, stay to supper, the crust’s almost done rising.”

That was all. Though, the moment we were down the stairs and Iruka had a moment to breathe, he’d looked at me, inquired why my father was in that ridiculous apron, and asked if the man was a glorified housewife.

It was easy to think stuff like that about Sakumo Hatake. What with his compost heap in the backyard, his organic vegetable garden, his roses, and his solar panels, it was easy for people to take my dad for a little cracked. But the truth was, he’d just seen the worst life could be and the rest was small in comparison. As long as no one was getting hurt, Sakumo believed things could be worked out with some time and patience.

Iruka had picked up on that after only a few visits, and it seemed to reassure him. But, laying there, pressed to me, some more tears spilled out, despite my assurance he could just spend the day and no one in my house would care.

“_My_ family will care.”

“They’ll deal with it, Ru,” I soothed. “They’ll have to, they’re your family.” This declaration covered a number of things I thought about his family. The way he caught his lip in his teeth and the skin around his eyes creased, said he knew it. I sighed, one set of fingers going to flick the new tears away. “If they treated you better, this wouldn’t even be an issue. You’d _want_ to go home.”

His fingers curled in my shirt, and he leaned into my hands on his face, rubbing on them, almost. “I don’t want to go back and listen to them call me the wrong name. They’re going to want me to change my clothes and take down my hair and PRETEND! I hate it. I hate it, like I hate being in this body. I just want to look in the mirror and not see a stranger looking back at me. I want to be _me_. Just me.”

“Ru…” One of my hands slid behind his head, to support it, and to keep him looking at me. The other slide up under his shirt, to spread over his stomach, and then trace up over the binder he wore underneath his other clothes. _Really should have made him take that off before we fell asleep, damn it… It’s not good for him to sleep in it…_ “You are you. You are Iruka Umino. My boyfriend. The most beautiful man I’ve ever seen. What you have or don’t have, or what people call you, can never change that. It can never make you less than who you are.”

His face crumbled a bit more. “Kashi…”

With a little growl, I leaned in to plant a kiss on his lips. Then I took the hand out from under his shirt, to run a finger over the scar on his nose. The one he’d got fighting over his name at school. “I don’t know how much any of this helps, but I really do just see you as you, Iruka.”

He laughed a little, shaking burst of teary mirth, and fisted his eyes dry. “It helps. It can’t fix my fucked-up body, but it helps. It’s what I really want. To be seen as myself.”

I nodded. “You wanna rest some more? Dad’s not going to have things ready for a while, and you can call your family later. They know where you are.”

Those brown eyes I loved melted, and he smiled at me before rolling over and snuggling back into me. I’d still need to get him to take the binder off for a while when we got up, but it could wait until he was more settled. For the moment, what mattered was holding him.

My arms clasped around his chest and my eyes drooped shut with a contented sigh. Only to crack open with a little, amused chuckle when Iruka ground his ass back into my crotch.

“We have time,” he mumbled, voice a bit heavy and breathless.

Rumbling low in my throat, I pushed his shirt out of the way and mouthed kisses and little bites over his collar and shoulders, my hands undoing his pants and easing them down over his hips just enough. I sucked a couple of fingers, to wet them, then eased them into him. Making him moan and stifle the sound in his hand.

He was twitching and clenching, his hips rocking, and I couldn’t help the hand that toyed at his naval. Tickling. “You’re so fucking hot,” I breathed into his ear.

And I was so hard. I took care to prep him well, but then inserted myself without hesitation, my hand moving down from his naval to stroke him between his legs the way he liked me to.

A few thrusts and he was arching back into me, his head pressing into the crock of my neck. He was panting my name in short, low, heady bursts. “Kashi! K-kakashi!”

“I have you, Ru,” I murmured into his ear, and kissed his neck. Only to grunt when he gasped and tightened on me, curling forward and fighting his orgasm with his teeth grinding his lip.

My fingers, slick with his arousal, kept stroking him lightly, prompting shudders and more clenching, while I thrust a few more times, looking for my own relief. It wasn’t long in coming, and then we were both just panting, coming down, and melting into each other.

“Love you, Ru.” The words slipped out to be met with, “Love you too, Kakashi,” in a drowsy exhale.

A warmth spread all through me, as his breathing evened out to the rhythmical pattern of sleep, and I held him close against my chest. Down deep, I knew I would never be able to express the truth of how beautiful he was to me. Iruka Umino was the most perfect thing in my life. His smiles and fierce temper, the way his face glowed in the sunlight when he thought no one was looking, the way he could sit, chin on hand, and ponder the distance, like it was some future he was unsure about with eyes like earth. Everything that made him himself was everything I wanted.

If he could see what I saw when he looked in the mirror, he wouldn’t see a stranger looking back at him. Combing a hand through his hair, I kissed lazy brushes of my lips down his jawline, making him mutter and curl into a ball against my stomach. My Ru. However long it took, I would be there with him, until he did recognize the face staring back at him in the mirror.

He’d see himself, in time. And, one day, everyone else would see it too.

**Author's Note:**

> This salty ball of angst and glitter is an original fiction author and fan fiction writer, who literally lives for comments and reader interaction. Even if this is nothing but inarticulate vowel screams, lol. He exist on a flotilla of social media, separated into a wide array writery things.
> 
> If you are crazy enough to want to see what I'm writing on any given day, and maybe try tempting me into writing something specific, feel free to join me in my personal writing Discord [Midway](https://discord.gg/jsQw96p), or friend me on Discord at LeoOtherland#7066 if you would rather chat one on one.
> 
> On Facebook I can be located on my [author page](https://www.facebook.com/LeoOtherland/) for all things original fiction, or in the [AO3 Armada group](https://www.facebook.com/groups/601270063618951) for all things fan fiction.
> 
> On [Twitter](https://twitter.com/RoseOfOtherLand) or [Tumbler](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/leootherlands) I primarily run with the fan fiction crowd and I seldom post and/or tweet anything, but if you want to drop me a line, I am always up for a chat.


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